bitchy | Miley Cyrus covers Vanity Fair, talks about how she’ll never be a ‘polite hetero lady’

Miley Cyrus covers the March issue of Vanity Fair. I’m not into it. I’m not into any of it. I understand what Miley was trying to do and I understand what Vanity Fair was trying to do too, but I just don’t like it. Miley’s latest version is hippie-country-twanger who never did anything offensive or ridiculous, and if she did anything weird or ridiculous, that’s over because she’s a new person now and allow her to explain all of that in long-winded self-aware diatribes. Vanity Fair was aiming for a dishy cover profile with a former child star, like Vogue got with Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin. The problem is that Miley isn’t really a mess, she’s just an a–hole who is good at rebranding herself and talking out of both sides of her mouth. You can read Miley’s cover story here. She also gave VF a “memo” she wrote herself, which is a really annoying read. Some highlights from both:

On her wedding to Liam Hemsworth: “Being someone who takes such pride in individuality and freedom, and being a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community, I’ve been inspired by redefining again what a relationship in this generation looks like. Sexuality and gender identity are completely separate from partnership. I wore a dress on my wedding day because I felt like it, I straightened my hair because I felt like it, but that doesn’t make me become some instantly “polite hetero lady.” (PS: Straight women are badass, too.)

How she contradicts herself constantly: “I surprise my own self with my choices. Sometimes I’ll even think: Why the f–k did I do that? Or, What got me there? What? Why?”

The Woolsey-Malibu fire that destroyed her home, and how it led to her wedding: “When you experience what we experienced together with someone, it is like glue. You’re the only two people in the world who can understand.”

Whether she feels different as someone’s wife: “Zero percent different. I would say that losing the house changed us much more than getting married changed us. We’ve worn rings forever, and I definitely didn’t need it in any way. It actually is kind of out of character for me.”

Her wedding wasn’t an old-fashioned thing: “The reason that people get married sometimes can be old-fashioned, but I think the reason we got married isn’t old-fashioned—I actually think it’s kind of New Age. We’re redefining, to be f–king frank, what it looks like for someone that’s a queer person like myself to be in a hetero relationship. A big part of my pride and my identity is being a queer person. What I preach is: People fall in love with people, not gender, not looks, not whatever. What I’m in love with exists on almost a spiritual level. It has nothing to do with sexuality. Relationships and partnerships in a new generation—I don’t think they have so much to do with sexuality or gender. Sex is actually a small part, and gender is a very small, almost irrelevant part of relationships.”

On Trump’s presidency: “You know, I said I would move away if he became president. We all said a bunch of sh-t we didn’t mean. Because we really thought: Maybe people will listen. Maybe people actually realize how detrimental this will be to our f–king country if this happens. Obviously they didn’t. But for me to move away—what the f–k is that going to change? As someone who is so proud of being an activist, am I going to feel proud of myself just running away from, and leaving everyone else here to live under, a completely racist, sexist, hateful a–hole? You can’t leave everyone else to fend for themselves.”

[From Vanity Fair]

Miley can define herself however she wants, but my issue is even with all of the flowery identifiers and labels and explanations, she’s saying that marrying a hot guy in a traditional wedding is some kind of avant-garde statement about queer life. I know the kidz will appreciate her words of inclusion and acceptance, but can we dial down the “redefining” rhetoric? That being said, I completely understand why they had their wedding right after the fire – the fire really did bring them closer together.

Cover and photos courtesy of Vanity Fair.

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